COMMITMENT

I hesitate to speak of commitment here since I have not been diligent about writing each day.  Not to make excuses but I have had limited amounts of energy and have been having difficulty putting my thoughts together.  Hopefully that will improve shortly!

Back to commitment.  What is a commitment?  Is it the one you make to your spouse when you marry? Of course.  Is it the one you make to your employer that you will show up each day?  Hopefully.  What about when you tell someone that you will get something done; will show up for some event; will pray for them.  These absolutely should be.

I have to say that I have not always lived up to this.  I have to say that often my health issues have gotten in my way.  I have to say that I have let people down in the past.  I also have to say that I am doing my best to do a much better job of living up to my commitments.  Something else I have learned is to not make a commitment I am unsure I can keep and/or to express that to the person asking.  It is okay to say no and also to say maybe.

There are some situation where you must be able to be very clear as to whether or not you can commit and if so, do it.  When you tell a friend that you are available to help at anytime or to listen anytime, you need to follow through, you need to take that late night call.  If you commit to care for someone that's ill or grieving or whatever, you need to show up.  If it's to provide a meal, do your best and deliver.  Whatever that need is, you must keep that commitment and give your best.

If you resolve to lose weight and get healthier, that is a commitment to yourself.  If you resolve to forgive those that have hurt you, work on it.  It's a process not the flipping of a switch.  Persevere, pray, and find your way there.  It is also a commitment to yourself, not to who you need to forgive.  It is very freeing and allows you to look to the future and not the past.  If you sign up for a workshop, a committee, the choir, a team, etc., be there.  People are counting on you.  Again, it will help you in developing a reputation of being dependable.

If you commit to God, pursue Him in all you do.  He has already pursued you and will continue to no matter what you do.  Give Him the same kind of commitment (as far as is humanly possible).  We can never out give Him.  If you commit to a relationship with Him, spend time with Him.  Talk to Him.  Listen to Him.  If you say you love Him, let Him love you back.  When you do this, you can then share His love with others.  Through this and all you do, glorify The Lord.  This is the most important commitment of all and in this you can become a true disciple of Christ.  The more you love Him, the more of your life you will commit to Him.

If you commit to doing and being the best you you can be in Christ, His love will fill you to the full and carry you through life in both the good and bad times.  I have been with Him on the mountaintop and He has been with me in the pit.  He has shown His love to me and He has pulled me out of the valley of victimhood.  He gives me love, strength, courage and peace!

Deut 6:5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

Now that's commitment!

WHO? WHAT? WHEN? WHERE? WHY?

The last several days, I have been pondering on what it is I needed to say here.  I have come up with a lot of different topics, but I will try to pull it together here.

First,  I wanted to write about "Being Me"; me with two of my main traits of being passionate and being honest.  Many would say too passionate and too honest.  But these are what make me "me".  When I feel anything, I feel it deeply.  If you ask my opinion or advice, you will get my honest opinion, not just what you want to hear.  There has been both judgement and appreciation for my intensity and for my truthfulness.  Often misunderstood, I have done my best to remain true to who God made me to be.

Second, I wanted to talk about being a Spiritual Being having a Human Experience.  Quite frankly, the human side can often be difficult with heartaches, sickness, tragedies,  and just the world in general.  I would call it "sucky" at times.  I would call it downright confusing when things happen that you can possibly understand with human rationality.  Something like a four month old getting brain cancer!  Impossible!  But the spiritual side, is a different story.  It is the divine and the sublime. It is the direct connection with one's maker that through all of the confounding, challenging parts of life, gives you strength and peace to carry you through the tough times.  It also moves you forward in your journey towards the Creator!  It gives you the courage you need to step out in faith and challenge yourself to step out of your box to further the Kingdom of God.

Third, when does one become "old".  I used to think that 40 was old.  Now I'm 60, so what does that make me.  As I get older and more mature, I hope, I realize that you may age physically, but inside you are still the same person.  It is just the container that gets dented and rusty.  The you inside changes and matures, but it doesn't "age".  You are who you are regardless of the numbers of years you have lived.

Just found out that I'm have hypothyroidism.  One of the systems, inability to focus.  No wonder I have had such a hard time writing.  I hope to do a better job in the days to come.

What About Prayer?

I had a friend ask me a question about prayer that got me to thinking about it.  "If God knows everything and has a plan already for your life, what's the point of praying?"  Someone said that you shouldn't ask Him for things to work out the way you hope.  

Not that I have done extensive research, but I have gone to the experts/ mystics that I know of and look to for direction.  Julian of Norwich,  Merton, Richard Rohr, Bishop Robert Barron.  From some a what they say on prayer, here is my assessment.  

Prayer is about a relationship with God, about union with God.  He does know all but wants us to come to Him in love with all of our nakedness and vulnerability.  We should approach Him with trust knowing that it is all in His hands, but He wants us to share our feelings, our fears, our desires, etc.  But we also need to listen and hear Him when He says all will be well because He is in control.  

Why would we have petitions in church if we weren’t suppose to petition Him for our needs?  Why would we pray to the Blessed Mother if we weren’t suppose to ask for her intercession in our needs?  Why do we pray to the saints, if not to get help in getting our prayers answered?  Why would we go to one another for intercessory prayer?  

I am in conversation with Him all day.  Granted I don’t spend enough time in contemplative prayer, but I’m working towards that.  Also, why would we go to Him in adoration were it not to lay it all out at His feet?  We must first come to Him with trust, thanksgiving, and worship.  But we are His children.  If prayer to Him about our concerns is what we need, would He deny us?  The bible says no, He would not deny us.  

Prayer is a very personal thing that is at the core of your relationship with God.  I believe that we all need to find our own way to communicate with The Lord and to listen for direction from Him as to if we are getting it right.  If you truly go to Him in sincerity of heart, that’s all He wants.  To love you and to be loved.  He sent Jesus to die for us so that He could be in relationship with us.

Is there so much more to say about prayer?  Absolutely.  Is there so much more for me to learn about prayer?  Definitely!  I look forward to that part of my journey and to continuing my conversation with my Father, my Poppa.  He places me on His knee for our chats.  He wraps His arms around me to comfort me and give me courage.  He listens, He speaks.  I hear, I trust, I follow.  I love Him and He loves me back more than I can fathom. It's all about His love and accepting it and sharing it with others.  It's all about relationship!

Pray on people!  Your Poppa will listen!

Who Am I? Who are you?

Who am I?  I am the baby of my family of 4 siblings.  Two brother and one sister.  I grew up in small towns.  I was a good student and went to the local college.  I wanted to go away to study music but that was not allowed.  I have been singing all my life.  It is at the core of who I am.  I studied nursing instead but due to my circumstances at the time, I quit, took some business classes and went to work as a secretary, soon to be an office manager.

You see, whatever task I am given, I do it well.  It didn't take long for me to be promoted and to quickly become my bosses right hand.  After 13 years there I became a purchasing agent elsewhere and left as a procurement coordinator.  Should have been a director, but I didn't have a 4 year degree and was of the wrong gender.  But I was very good at what I did and was heavily depended upon.

I got married and had 2 step kids that lived with us.  I had to be organized to have a full time job and learn how to take care of my immediate family.  And I did that too.  My husband prospered in his career, my step kids became awesome adults, and I had a good run in my work life before I had to resign due to my health.

When it comes to my health, I was told by my doctor that all of my ailments would not stop me because of my attitude.  Growing up I was told I was stubborn.  I call it determined.  I was told I was different, even strange.  I call it unique, special.  I was told I was bad, wrong.  I call it independent.

I tell you all of this to say this:  I am nothing!  Yes, I can sing.  Yes, I used to be a great dancer.  Yes, I can write.  Yes, I was able to be a great administrator.  Yes, I was able to help raise beautiful children and have been my husband's biggest champion.  I have 6 fabulous grandchildren whom I love very much and they love their Nanna.  Yes, I have been told that I have the Charisms of Encouragement and Evangelization and am a natural spiritual advisor.  But none of this is of me.

Without God, I have nothing, I am nothing!  Every breath I breathe, every step I take, every gift or talent that I have comes from Him.  He planned me.  He created me.  He has been with me every moment of every day.  He has taught me, He has healed me, He has given me peace.  And of course, He has given me Jesus' example to follow and the Holy Spirit to enable me to accomplish this along the road of my journey toward's Him.

He has numbered the hairs on my head to the days of my life.  I am nothing without Him, but.............I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.  Phil 4:13.

I AM HIS AND SO ARE YOU!

Grace, Not Perfection

I have a t-shirt that says, I operate under grace not perfection.  Yesterday, I had it on and a young woman commented on it.  It seems she had heard something similar at church the day before.  We talked about it and I told her, "It's just about showing others the love of Jesus, not be perfect."  She said that she needed to hear that and that she would take it as a Word from God.  That's exactly what it was.  I thought to say other things but The Lord told me it's just about the love.

So many of us have set standards for ourselves that God has not set for us.  Yes, there are things that we are supposed to do and not do.  But all of these should come out of our love for Him.  Not because we have to do it to earn His love or a ticket to heaven.  The more we learn about Jesus Christ, the more we fall in love with Him.  The more we fall in love with Him, the more we want to serve Him by doing the right things and sharing His love with others.

It is by grace that we are able to accomplish these things.  Grace is the gift that keeps on giving.  It is gifted to us by The Lord anytime we pray.  It is gifted to us whenever we go to church to worship Him.  It is gifted to us when we hear His voice and follow His will.  As a Catholic, I believe that I receive an abundance of graces from going to reconciliation and receiving eucharist.  Graces that enable us to grow in our understanding of what is required of us on our journey.  Grace that enables us to love Him more.  Grace to love others more.

Grace also can enable us to be more in sync with the Holy Spirit that lives within each of us.  Being able to go to Him and hear His voice and follow His direction.  Grace can open our eyes to see the needs of those we encounter on a daily basis and give us the courage to reach out to them.  Grace gives us the right words to say and the right things to do.

All of us have our struggles and sometimes just acknowledging that in the other helps.  Sharing a word of love, compassion, understanding.  Giving that much needed pat on the hand, squeeze of the shoulder, or a sincerely loving hug.  Grace can provide us with the deep well of love that comes from The Lord that we always have to give to others.

This is what it's all about.  Not being perfect.  It is all about love.  Loving The Lord with all your heart, mind, and soul and loving one another as He has loved us.  He died for us so that we might live and have life abundantly.  He did not die for us to walk on eggshells trying to be perfect.  He was, is, and will always be the only perfection.  His sacrifice has given us this gift of life and of love.  His love for us and our love for Him give us the grace that we need to live to serve Him and in turn, serve others.

So don't beat yourself up if you aren't perfect, if you stumble, even if you fall.  He is there to pick you up, fill you with grace, and to help you to do better next time.  Life is not a test.  It's a journey towards a life with Him for eternity.  Oh Happy Day!

Celebrating Life!

Well tomorrow is my 60th birthday party!  We have put a lot of work in getting everything ready.  My hubby has power-washed the house, resealed the patio, cleaned the house, re-painted the living area, etc, etc, etc.  He has been amazing!  He always is so good to me.  I made my birthday cake and made several finger foods.  Others are bringing additional foods and again, my hubby is grilling other items.  I tell you all this to begin enumerating why I am celebrating turning 60.

There are so many reasons for me to celebrate!  First of all, I celebrate my man and his dedication and loyalty to me.  I celebrate the love we have shared for 29 years, married 28.  I celebrate all of the up and downs that we have been through and the way we stuck together through it all.  I celebrate God for sending me such an excellent partner in life!

I celebrate my two step-children for the adults that they have grown to be!  They are beautiful, caring, loyal, faithful souls.  They are dedicated to their family and are excellent parents to my 6 grandchildren.  They married people of like mind and character.  They are all successful in their careers and frugal with their finances.  They are all answers to prayer and major blessings in my life.

And then their are my beautiful grandchildren!  From the oldest at 19 to the youngest at 2 months, they are the sunshine in my life in so many ways.  They are all very smart, extremely kind, faithful, and gorgeous!  Yes, I am partial, but it's so true!!!  I tell them that "I love them from here to infinity and beyond"!  I soooo mean it!  They are each very different and special to me in their own unique ways.  I would do anything for them.  They are my reward in life!

I celebrate all of the friends that I have!  My forever friend, who has been there for me since our senior year in high school.  Friends that I met when I was 20 that are still in my life today.  Friends that came to me through my husband, but now are like family to me and to our family.  Friends from my church choir and from the ACTS community (retreat movement) and in particular, my prayer group.  My friend next door who is always there for me.  A dear friend that I met when I began my last job who is very special to me.  I celebrate the honor of those friends that were in my life for too short a time.  And on and on!  I am extremely blessed in the friend department!

I celebrate every breath that The Lord has given me.  I celebrate all of the gifts He has blessed me with an that He has gotten me this far.  That He has carried me through to rough times and walked beside me through the rest.  That He sent all of those above into my life and all those people that have helped me and influence me still today.  All of the angels He has sent into my life to help me along the way.  He allowed me the privilege of having sweet Saint Maria Goretti watch over me all of my life.  He has provided for my livelihood and for my care.  He has taken a lowly little caterpillar hiding in her cocoon and turned her into a beautiful butterfly free to fly.  Most of all He sent His Son to die to take away my sins and to rise to give me a pathway to heaven!!!  He is the Center of my life and everything I do!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!

Tomorrow is the 4th of July, the birthday of America!  Did you know that?  These days it seems that is a legitimate question.  People celebrate the 4th of July every year with fireworks, barbecue, and water sports.  But do they truly realize what it is they are celebrating?

To many, it is just another excuse to have a party.  Another excuse to get drunk.  Another opportunity to go on vacation.  A great time to catch some awesome fireworks.

To those of us that do remember what it's all about, those are just the trappings of the day.  To those of us that do understand, it is the celebration of freedom.  The honoring of all of those who fought and died and lost limbs and oh, so much else.  The all of the fathers, mothers, brothers, sister, sons and daughters that didn't come home.  For those that will never get to celebrate.  The 4th of July is all about the ability for us to be free to celebrate.  To be free to speak our mind.  To be free to protect ourselves.  To be free to worship however and wherever we choose.

Our found fathers were truly courageous and had unbelievable foresight when they fought for and established this country and wrote our Declaration of Independence.  There have been other great civilizations that were benchmark for others to follow.  However, those failed after about 200 years.  We are celebrating our 241st birthday.  We have survived longer, but how much longer.

The failure of those empires came about when the people began to ask what's in it for me?  When they began to expect the government to take care of them and not for them to take care of themselves.  When the powerful began to love the power and wealth more than they did the people and their democracy.  Does this sound familiar?  How much further do we have to go before we fail?  How much longer can we last with the prevailing attitudes of our leaders and our people.  Will we come tumbling down and no one be able to fix us?

I choose to believe that we will survive.  I choose to believe in the American Spirit.  I trust that those of us who remain patriots and remain loyal to the idea that anyone can achieve the American Dream through hard work and honorable living.

I trust that the God that enable this country to become the greatest, most blessed country on earth will not allow it to fail.  This country was founded on the predicate that all people deserve freedom, especially religious freedom and freedom from oppression.  I trust that those that would take these away from us will not be allowed to prevail.  I trust that people of faith, morals, and values will rise up and take this country back from those who lack these.  I pray with trust that God will create a revival of faith, morals, value, patriotism, and loyalty to Him and to this country.

God Bless the USA and Happy Birthday!!!!

Fear Not, You Are Loved!

As I prepare for a party at my home, there are a lot of elements I have to plan for to pull it off.  I will have many people in my small home.  Logistics of flow, seating, weather, parking, etc,  I have to plan and prepare a menu and provide for beverages.  I have to prepare my home, decorate and of course, design and create my cake.  Here are a couple of the items I've made for my cake.

Often times in the past, I got very nervous and anxious about events like this.  I so wanted everything to be perfect.  I really don't get nervous any more.  Do I plan? Yes.  Do I have checklists? Yes  Do I make sure I have everything lined up?   Yes, indeed.  But I no longer fear.  Fear that something goes wrong.  Fear that nobody will show.  Fear that I will run out of things.  Fear of what others will think.  Nope!

I no longer fear these things because I have a peace within me that drives out fear.  That peace comes from my relationship with Jesus.  That peace comes from the Holy Spirit that resides in me.  He keeps me calm and gives me strength.  He calls to my mind, reminding me of all the times He has provided, protected, and blessed me along the way.  

This is just a birthday party, but I have that same sense of calm and of strength when I am facing some major obstacle or challenge.   I also have a confidence and assuredness within myself that comes from knowing who I am.  I am His creation, His child, and am a Princess of the King.  

It also helps to know that whatever comes my way, I am supported by my family and by my friends.  It is very comforting that I belong to an awesome faith community that I can go to for prayer.  

If you are alone. find a faith family that will support you and where you feel at home.  Most importantly, find Jesus!  He came that we might have life in abundance.  that does include fear!  In the bible, it says not to fear 365 times.  Once for every day of the year.  He does not want us to live in fear!

Instead be fearless, self-assured, and know that God loves you completely and unconditionally.  He loves you more that your finite mind can possibly imagine!  You are a conqueror through Him who created you!

Isaiah 41:10

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’