We have all heard that there are always "strings attached". This usually refers to some great deal or opportunity that is too good to be true. "There are always strings attached." Beware!
Well this week, I learned another way to see this phrase. I saw Sister Dulci (healing nun) again. She performed an inner healing on me. In going through the process, she had me envision a string running from my heart to the heart of people that were hurtful to me. She suggested that I had a pair of scissors and instructed me to cut that string and pull the remnant out of my heart leaving me no longer attached to that person. The goal was that I would no longer have any feelings of those people having any impact on my life. Also, that the hurt they caused would be released to God forever.
Are there people in your life to whom you are still (painfully) attached? Is the hurt they caused you still controlling some aspect of your life? Are they still "renting space" in your head? Can you imagine being free from the pain? Whatever method it takes, why don't you try cutting the ties that bind? Pulling the strings of pain from your heart. Living your life with the past in the past, enjoying the present, and being excited about the possibilities in the future.
Releasing yourself from the hurt people caused does not mean you don't love them anymore. It just means that you are taking back your life so that you might live it more fully. May we all look to God to show us how we can do this and how we can finally, forever, permanently lay all of it at His feet. May this free us all to be the people that He created us to be.
Psalm 139: 13-14 You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother's womb. I praise you, because I am wonderfully made; wonderful are your works. My very self you know.
Friday, February 22, 2019
Saturday, February 16, 2019
Sowing Doubt
In recent weeks, I have experienced ministering by the Holy Spirit to mine. With attending the Holy Spirit workshop. While attending the Abide Women's Conference. Within my interview with Sister Dulci and during the Adoration nights I've attended at our church, Holy Cross. And of course, every moment in between, He has been whittling away at my soul, fashioning me into who He would have me. Fabulous, marvelous, exciting stuff! Then why do I feel like I'm in a funk. Why do I feel sad?
I believe that whenever I begin to make real progress spiritually, the devil attacks. He can't have us draw closer to God. He can't have us be in intimate relationship with Jesus.. He will begin to sow seeds of doubt. Doubt about ourselves, doubt about others, and doubt about how God sees us. We aren't really lovable. Others really don't love us. God definitely can't possibly love a sinner like me.
In the encounters with the Holy Spirit, He has told me otherwise. He has shown me how much He loves me and how desperately He desires to heal me and make me whole and holy. He is directing me down the path He has chosen for me. The other day Sister Dulci told me things about myself that I find hard to accept. Ways that I don't see myself. But I want to believe that Poppa sees me that way and that I shouldn't listen to the doubts and the fears of not measuring up. The questioning about I will be able to handle whatever it is He has planned for me to do. However, I know that the bible says that whatever He brings you to, He will equip you for. So I just have to trust!
Whatever negative thoughts, self-talk, voices from the past you have going on, don't listen! Those are just lies used to keep you from feeling worthy, feeling able, feeling loved. You are chosen. He does love you. He has equipped you with the gifts you need to accomplish His purpose for your life. He has given you the Holy Spirit to be with you every step of the way! Believe in Him! Trust in Him!
I believe that whenever I begin to make real progress spiritually, the devil attacks. He can't have us draw closer to God. He can't have us be in intimate relationship with Jesus.. He will begin to sow seeds of doubt. Doubt about ourselves, doubt about others, and doubt about how God sees us. We aren't really lovable. Others really don't love us. God definitely can't possibly love a sinner like me.
In the encounters with the Holy Spirit, He has told me otherwise. He has shown me how much He loves me and how desperately He desires to heal me and make me whole and holy. He is directing me down the path He has chosen for me. The other day Sister Dulci told me things about myself that I find hard to accept. Ways that I don't see myself. But I want to believe that Poppa sees me that way and that I shouldn't listen to the doubts and the fears of not measuring up. The questioning about I will be able to handle whatever it is He has planned for me to do. However, I know that the bible says that whatever He brings you to, He will equip you for. So I just have to trust!
Whatever negative thoughts, self-talk, voices from the past you have going on, don't listen! Those are just lies used to keep you from feeling worthy, feeling able, feeling loved. You are chosen. He does love you. He has equipped you with the gifts you need to accomplish His purpose for your life. He has given you the Holy Spirit to be with you every step of the way! Believe in Him! Trust in Him!
Thursday, February 14, 2019
The Healing Nun
I haven't written in the last few days, number one because I haven't had much energy. Number two because I was is somewhat of a funk. Well that all went sideways yesterday!
I went to Baton Rouge to meet with Sister Dulci, the "healing nun". Yesterday, was a get to know you session. For her to find out the history of "my stuff" and for me to find out from her who Poppa (her name for God) says I am! At least, that's what it turned out to be.
First of all, any of you that know me well, know that the butterfly is very significant to me. For me it represents my journey from scared, damaged child to fearless, blessed adult. From lowly caterpillar to butterfly with wings to fly. Well, Sister wears colorful printed aprons over her habit and yesterday it was covered with butterflies in all different colors. When I told her that I loved her apron and that the butterfly had much significance for me, she said that it was a gift from Poppa. It was confirmation for me that I was supposed to be there.
There are many things that Sister told me that I am not ready to share here, still processing, but she did tell me that Poppa is preparing me for something new. Perhaps a new ministry? We will see. She told me that I should look at how Poppa has worked in my life and how far He has taken me. That is not lost on me, but I will be going over my life story to reflect on and document all of the times that I am aware of His hand in my life.
She gave me reasons for some of the hard things that happened in my life that hadn't occurred to me and that she said Poppa wanted me to know. She even knew that I was born during a hurricane and how even that had purpose in my life.
At the end of the session, she told me to have her staff schedule me to come back to see her within a week. She said there probably wouldn't be an opening but to tell them to schedule me on her lunch hour if necessary because she had to see me within a week. There weren't any openings, so I am scheduled to see her next week on her lunch break. This session will be an actual healing session in which she says Poppa, through her, will perform an "inner healing" which is standing in my way for whatever it is "new" that He has prepared for me. I am excited to see what that is like.
Have you looked lately at how Poppa has moved in your life? Is He wanting to heal you in some way? Are there obstacles in your path to serving Him in some new way? With lent quickly approaching, I think these are questions that we all can ask and reflect on as we prepare for the new life of Easter!
God Bless!
I went to Baton Rouge to meet with Sister Dulci, the "healing nun". Yesterday, was a get to know you session. For her to find out the history of "my stuff" and for me to find out from her who Poppa (her name for God) says I am! At least, that's what it turned out to be.
First of all, any of you that know me well, know that the butterfly is very significant to me. For me it represents my journey from scared, damaged child to fearless, blessed adult. From lowly caterpillar to butterfly with wings to fly. Well, Sister wears colorful printed aprons over her habit and yesterday it was covered with butterflies in all different colors. When I told her that I loved her apron and that the butterfly had much significance for me, she said that it was a gift from Poppa. It was confirmation for me that I was supposed to be there.
There are many things that Sister told me that I am not ready to share here, still processing, but she did tell me that Poppa is preparing me for something new. Perhaps a new ministry? We will see. She told me that I should look at how Poppa has worked in my life and how far He has taken me. That is not lost on me, but I will be going over my life story to reflect on and document all of the times that I am aware of His hand in my life.
She gave me reasons for some of the hard things that happened in my life that hadn't occurred to me and that she said Poppa wanted me to know. She even knew that I was born during a hurricane and how even that had purpose in my life.
At the end of the session, she told me to have her staff schedule me to come back to see her within a week. She said there probably wouldn't be an opening but to tell them to schedule me on her lunch hour if necessary because she had to see me within a week. There weren't any openings, so I am scheduled to see her next week on her lunch break. This session will be an actual healing session in which she says Poppa, through her, will perform an "inner healing" which is standing in my way for whatever it is "new" that He has prepared for me. I am excited to see what that is like.
Have you looked lately at how Poppa has moved in your life? Is He wanting to heal you in some way? Are there obstacles in your path to serving Him in some new way? With lent quickly approaching, I think these are questions that we all can ask and reflect on as we prepare for the new life of Easter!
God Bless!
Saturday, February 9, 2019
Helplessly Helpful
What do you do when someone you love is going through an extremely difficult situation and there is nothing you can do to change it? I know that I rack my brain trying to think of ways that I can change it and make it better for them. Ways to fix it. Well, most of the time, there is nothing I can do, making me feel helpless. So what do you do?
First and foremost, I storm the heavens with prayer, day and night. They are constantly on my mind and I lift them up throughout the day. I pray for deliverance but I also pray for peace, comfort, provision, and discernment for that person. Difficult times are part of each of our journeys and sometimes all we can do is pray. All we can do is walk along side them, letting them know we are present. Even when we can't be with them physically, there are ways that we can let them know that our hearts are breaking for theirs and our spirits are connected with theirs.
How do I do this? With phone calls and texts. Sometimes just to say good morning to let them know that I am starting my day thinking of them. Or just a "how are you doing today" which often gets a conversation going, allowing them to share where they are in this journey. Often, I will find an inspirational quote and/or photo or song to hopefully help calm them, motivate them, or provide them with some hope. On occasion, I will send them meaningful gifts that speak to the beauty of who they are and remind them that they are not alone and will make it through this difficult time.
And sometimes all you can do is PRAY. You are not helpless! Prayer is the most powerful gift you can give to those you love. If you don't know what to pray, simply ask the Holy Spirit to minister to that person in whatever way they need. He knows where they are in this journey and exactly what they need. Of course, the other thing that you can do is to simply love them right where they are. Whether they are being stoic or are a mess, just come along side of them and love them in whatever way they will allow. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in what that looks like. He won't let you down so that you don't let your loved one down.
Be present to them as much as you can, in whatever way you can, and you will be helplessly helpful.
First and foremost, I storm the heavens with prayer, day and night. They are constantly on my mind and I lift them up throughout the day. I pray for deliverance but I also pray for peace, comfort, provision, and discernment for that person. Difficult times are part of each of our journeys and sometimes all we can do is pray. All we can do is walk along side them, letting them know we are present. Even when we can't be with them physically, there are ways that we can let them know that our hearts are breaking for theirs and our spirits are connected with theirs.
How do I do this? With phone calls and texts. Sometimes just to say good morning to let them know that I am starting my day thinking of them. Or just a "how are you doing today" which often gets a conversation going, allowing them to share where they are in this journey. Often, I will find an inspirational quote and/or photo or song to hopefully help calm them, motivate them, or provide them with some hope. On occasion, I will send them meaningful gifts that speak to the beauty of who they are and remind them that they are not alone and will make it through this difficult time.
And sometimes all you can do is PRAY. You are not helpless! Prayer is the most powerful gift you can give to those you love. If you don't know what to pray, simply ask the Holy Spirit to minister to that person in whatever way they need. He knows where they are in this journey and exactly what they need. Of course, the other thing that you can do is to simply love them right where they are. Whether they are being stoic or are a mess, just come along side of them and love them in whatever way they will allow. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in what that looks like. He won't let you down so that you don't let your loved one down.
Be present to them as much as you can, in whatever way you can, and you will be helplessly helpful.
Thursday, February 7, 2019
Desert Time
Do you sometimes feel like you are walking through desert alone? That answers to your questions won't come? That you don't even know how or what to pray? That God is far away from you? I believe that we all go through these periods where nothing makes sense and we feel tired of trying to figure it out. A time when fear creeps in and faith falters. A time when we feel separated from God.
Guess what? He hasn't gone anywhere. We are the ones that have walked away. Away into the world around us. Away into ourselves and our stuff. Away into our sin and failings. We focus on things other than God and lose our way in the process. Those are the times when confusion, fear, doubt, and insecurity can creep in. Those are the times when we can believe the lies of the devil that we are not enough, that we are bad, that we don't measure up, that we don't have what it takes. that we can't make a difference in this crazy world we live in, and that we are not loved or even lovable.
I feel that these times are actually a necessary part of our growth. Just as a plant will lose all of its leaves in the winter only to burst forth with beautiful blossoms and foliage in the spring, we must go through these seasons for us to bloom. It's similar to walking through a dark tunnel only to exit to a brilliant light.
I have always found that these times turn out to be a time of discovery and that once I exit, there is the Light. There is the oasis. He is there waiting always to refresh me, to minister to me, to heal me, and to teach me. I come out of these dry times with a new understanding of His love for me, of my love for Him, and of what my next step on the journey should be. When that next step is not clear, I come out with a sense of confidence and trust, that I can simply wait and He will bring it to me.
Here of late, I have had the sense that He wants me to simply leaving myself open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and just listen for His guidance and instruction. I have a sense that He is healing me from my "deserts" and preparing me for His next step for my life. I pray that I can with humility and docility remain open and obedient to His stirrings in my heart and follow through in trust His direction.
Fear not the desert for the springs of His Spirit will come to renew you!
Guess what? He hasn't gone anywhere. We are the ones that have walked away. Away into the world around us. Away into ourselves and our stuff. Away into our sin and failings. We focus on things other than God and lose our way in the process. Those are the times when confusion, fear, doubt, and insecurity can creep in. Those are the times when we can believe the lies of the devil that we are not enough, that we are bad, that we don't measure up, that we don't have what it takes. that we can't make a difference in this crazy world we live in, and that we are not loved or even lovable.
I feel that these times are actually a necessary part of our growth. Just as a plant will lose all of its leaves in the winter only to burst forth with beautiful blossoms and foliage in the spring, we must go through these seasons for us to bloom. It's similar to walking through a dark tunnel only to exit to a brilliant light.
I have always found that these times turn out to be a time of discovery and that once I exit, there is the Light. There is the oasis. He is there waiting always to refresh me, to minister to me, to heal me, and to teach me. I come out of these dry times with a new understanding of His love for me, of my love for Him, and of what my next step on the journey should be. When that next step is not clear, I come out with a sense of confidence and trust, that I can simply wait and He will bring it to me.
Here of late, I have had the sense that He wants me to simply leaving myself open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and just listen for His guidance and instruction. I have a sense that He is healing me from my "deserts" and preparing me for His next step for my life. I pray that I can with humility and docility remain open and obedient to His stirrings in my heart and follow through in trust His direction.
Fear not the desert for the springs of His Spirit will come to renew you!
Monday, February 4, 2019
A New Revelation
This weekend at the conference I attended, as we were in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, we were taken through a guided meditation my Sister Miriam James. She had us imagine our ourselves walking along by ourselves when we feel like someone is walking up behind us. That someone is Jesus. He catches up to us and evens His strides with ours and walks silently beside us. He then asks us what is on our heart that needs healing. He stops and asks if we would be willing to surrender that something to Him.
During this, I did my best to fully immerse myself into it and see what I would receive. I was surprised by what turned up. I suddenly recalled me saying when I was probably around 19 that I never wanted to have children because I didn't want to screw up a kid as badly as I was. I became aware that I blamed myself in some way, because of that statement, for not ever having had a natural child of my own. Like having spoken that into the universe, I had caused that to happen.
I have for many years grieved the fact of never having had a natural child of my own. To have this revelation that I blamed myself was totally unexpected as that was the farthest thing from my mind. As I continued through the meditation, I got that Jesus was telling me that the child He wanted to birth in me was me. He wanted to create me anew without all of the screwed up stuff. It is said that when you claim Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you become a new creation. I guess that is what He meant by telling me He was birthing me in me.
The hardest part of the meditation was when He asked me to give it to Him. I very vividly in my mind's eye saw a newborn baby in my hands. It took me a moment to hand it over to Him. It was very hard for me to give it up but afterwards, it was very freeing!
That baby that He is birthing in me? Well, I often feel like just a toddler in His world. Like I am only beginning to walk as He would have me walk, learn the language He would have me speak, develop the skills He is trying to teach me. I have a long way to go to reach adulthood.
What old hurt, wound, grief are you holding on to of which maybe you are not even consciously aware ? Ask that the Holy Spirit to reveal that to you that you might offer it up to Jesus for healing. What is it that Jesus is trying to birth in you? Reach out your hands and take that first step towards Him. He will help you to walk in His ways and He will pick you up if you fall. Let Him reveal to you who He has "birthed" you to be in Him.
During this, I did my best to fully immerse myself into it and see what I would receive. I was surprised by what turned up. I suddenly recalled me saying when I was probably around 19 that I never wanted to have children because I didn't want to screw up a kid as badly as I was. I became aware that I blamed myself in some way, because of that statement, for not ever having had a natural child of my own. Like having spoken that into the universe, I had caused that to happen.
I have for many years grieved the fact of never having had a natural child of my own. To have this revelation that I blamed myself was totally unexpected as that was the farthest thing from my mind. As I continued through the meditation, I got that Jesus was telling me that the child He wanted to birth in me was me. He wanted to create me anew without all of the screwed up stuff. It is said that when you claim Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you become a new creation. I guess that is what He meant by telling me He was birthing me in me.
The hardest part of the meditation was when He asked me to give it to Him. I very vividly in my mind's eye saw a newborn baby in my hands. It took me a moment to hand it over to Him. It was very hard for me to give it up but afterwards, it was very freeing!
That baby that He is birthing in me? Well, I often feel like just a toddler in His world. Like I am only beginning to walk as He would have me walk, learn the language He would have me speak, develop the skills He is trying to teach me. I have a long way to go to reach adulthood.
What old hurt, wound, grief are you holding on to of which maybe you are not even consciously aware ? Ask that the Holy Spirit to reveal that to you that you might offer it up to Jesus for healing. What is it that Jesus is trying to birth in you? Reach out your hands and take that first step towards Him. He will help you to walk in His ways and He will pick you up if you fall. Let Him reveal to you who He has "birthed" you to be in Him.
Sunday, February 3, 2019
Identity
Who do you say that I am? Jesus asked this of His disciples resulting in multiple answers. How dense were they!? How dense are we at times when that question comes up on our own identities? Do I really know who I am? Here are the things I know about myself, I think. ☺️
I am the baby of my family of origin. I am a married woman of almost 30 years. I am a stepmother of two and a grandmother of 6. I am retired/disabled. I am Catholic. I am a follower of Christ. I am a friend. I am singer and cake artist and love to create. How do I stack up against others?
Am I smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough, loving enough? What is enough? I believe that we all are enough if we live with authenticity. When we honor who we truly are, who God created us to be, we live authentically. Why do we question so much who we are? God created me to be me just as He created you to be you. No comparison necessary. We do not need to be like someone else. We do not need to try to measure up to someone else's expectations. We only need to be true to who God intended us to be.
Now, does that take some figuring out who exactly that is? Of course. But with His help and guidance, it can be done. Is it a process that will last the rest of our lives? I think so. He is always developing and growing us. How do we know who He say we are? Scripture tells us. The Holy Spirit within us tells us. My favorite scripture in this season of my life is Romans 8:28-38(below) in which I have found my identity. It tells me that He chose me before I was born, that He called me according to His purpose for me, that He is using all things for good to make me all that He created me to be, and that I am more than a conqueror through Him. Most of all, it tells me that I am loved by Him and nothing can ever separate me from that love. I am enough for Him! I am His princess warrior! The daughter of the King girded in the armor of His love!
I am the baby of my family of origin. I am a married woman of almost 30 years. I am a stepmother of two and a grandmother of 6. I am retired/disabled. I am Catholic. I am a follower of Christ. I am a friend. I am singer and cake artist and love to create. How do I stack up against others?
Am I smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough, loving enough? What is enough? I believe that we all are enough if we live with authenticity. When we honor who we truly are, who God created us to be, we live authentically. Why do we question so much who we are? God created me to be me just as He created you to be you. No comparison necessary. We do not need to be like someone else. We do not need to try to measure up to someone else's expectations. We only need to be true to who God intended us to be.
Now, does that take some figuring out who exactly that is? Of course. But with His help and guidance, it can be done. Is it a process that will last the rest of our lives? I think so. He is always developing and growing us. How do we know who He say we are? Scripture tells us. The Holy Spirit within us tells us. My favorite scripture in this season of my life is Romans 8:28-38(below) in which I have found my identity. It tells me that He chose me before I was born, that He called me according to His purpose for me, that He is using all things for good to make me all that He created me to be, and that I am more than a conqueror through Him. Most of all, it tells me that I am loved by Him and nothing can ever separate me from that love. I am enough for Him! I am His princess warrior! The daughter of the King girded in the armor of His love!
Romans 8:28-39
28 [a]We know that all things work for good for those who love God,[b] who are called according to his purpose. 29 [c]For those he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, so that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those he predestined he also called; and those he called he also justified; and those he justified he also glorified.
31 [d]What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for us all, how will he not also give us everything else along with him? 33 Who will bring a charge against God’s chosen ones? It is God who acquits us. 34 Who will condemn? It is Christ [Jesus] who died, rather, was raised, who also is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us. 35 What will separate us from the love of Christ? Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or the sword? 36 As it is written:
“For your sake we are being slain all the day;
we are looked upon as sheep to be slaughtered.”
we are looked upon as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we conquer overwhelmingly through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things,[e] nor future things, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth,[f] nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Friday, February 1, 2019
Childlike Faith
Just recently, my 5 year old grandson and I were talking about someone that he knew that had passed. He told me that this person had died and gone to heaven so he wouldn't be able to ride his tractor anymore. He then proceeded to ask me, "Why did Jesus have to die on the cross?" He's 5! How do you explain salvation to a 5 year old.
Thankfully, the Holy Spirit gave me an answer that seemed to satisfy him. I said, "We as human beings make mistakes all of the time and some of those mistakes can keep us from going to heaven. But when Jesus died, rose again, and went to heaven, it was so He could make a way for us to go to heaven." In talking about it, I realized that I wanted him to understand that Jesus didn't leave him alone. He knew that there is God the Father and God the Son, but I also told him that there is God the Spirit. I told him, "Jesus went to heaven, but left the Holy Spirit to live inside of you.", at which he gave me a look, like "Say What"!!! I then explained to him that the Holy Spirit is there to help him make good decisions. That he would let him know what is good and bad, right or wrong. He seemed to be okay with that and went on to play.
Oh, that we would have that kind of child like faith. That we would ponder on the cross and think about why Jesus died there. That we would marvel at His resurrection. That we would wonder if he left us alone here to struggle on our own, only to discover that He is with us always, guiding us along the way. Can we remember when we first understood the concept of the Trinity? (As far as anyone can) I know that I grew up not knowing much about the Third Person, that I now treasure so much. It seemed that most "grown ups" were frightened by and of the Holy Spirit. But isn't it comforting to know, we never are alone. No matter how desolate we feel and how impossible the circumstance, He is always there with us. There is nothing of which to be frightened.
Jesus said that He would leave the Holy Spirit with us and that we would do far greater things than He! Just imagine what we could do if we truly tapped in to the power available to us there. So fear not! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! All Things Are Possible With God! Feel His embrace, His presence, His love. Lift up your face and see His loving gaze upon His child and accept that love with the untarnished innocence of a child. Because, that is exactly how He sees you! His Beloved!!!
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